by Dr. Mattilan Martin l Reviewed by Dr. Emily Sander and Dr. Amelia Paquin
Key Points
- Half of transgender teens and young adults seriously considered suicide in 2023.
- Parents can make a huge difference. Affirming gender identity within the home can significantly reduce rates of attempted suicide.
- Parent’s lack of knowledge about the LGBTQIA+ community and disconnection from available resources can be a barrier to supportive parenting of transgender and non-binary children.
- There are resources that can help! Check out the article below to learn more!
Forty one percent of LGBTQIA+ young people seriously considered suicide in 2023 according to the most recent data from The Trevor Project. That number is even higher among transgender (trans) youth with approximately fifty percent of trans youth considering suicide and one in five attempting suicide in the last year.
Trans youth report higher rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide than their same aged, cisgender peers. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association emphasize that discrimination, and a lack of acceptance of trans youth contribute to the high suicide rates and mental health challenges faced by this population. Studies show that less than half of trans youth report feeling accepted and having their pronouns respected within their own homes. Data shows that for the trans young people who do have their parents’ acceptance, suicide rates can drop dramatically.
Some studies1, 2 have indicated that having supportive and affirming caregivers may reduce levels of depression and suicide rates in trans youth by as much as 50%. Emerging data continues to show that one of the best ways to prevent suicide in trans youth is by helping their parents to create more affirming and supportive home environments.
Parenting a trans kid can come with unique challenges for parents. A recent study of parents’ experience of having a trans child showed that many parents report feeling overwhelmed by a lack of knowledge about transgender identities and the LGBTQIA+ community at large1. This lack of information and uncertain feeling can lead some parents to believe their child’s gender identity is a phase. It also can contribute to denial, shock, and grief reactions which can hurt, confuse, and distance trans youth from their supports2.
The good news?
We live in a time where information, resources, and support are more plentiful than ever. There are concrete steps that parents, grandparents, and other caregivers of trans youth can take to learn about the LGBTQIA+ community; and create a safe and affirming home environment.
A good place to start for most parents is connecting with education resources that can help you learn about the LGBTQIA+ community and ways to be a supportive ally.
- The Trevor Project is one of our favorite education resources. They have a concrete step-by-step guide to allyship that covers many of the important things to know about the LGBTQIA+ community.
- PFLAG is another great organization to check out. They have a great guide to help grandparents understand gender identity and they host regional meetings for parents of LGBTQIA+ to connect.
It can be helpful to hear stories from other parents of trans kids and their experiences. Some of the stories below tackle tough topics including grieving the life you imagined for your child, recognizing you might be the one hurting your child, and having to get active as your child’s advocate and protector.
Working toward creating a supportive and affirming home can bring up many strong emotions for trans kids and parents alike. It’s important to make sure to tend to emotional health during this process.
- This article from PFLAG covers some helpful tips on ways to lead with love, curiosity, and humility when your child is going through the coming out process. As a parent, it’s important to remember you are not alone in this process, your feelings are valid, and that self-care is crucial!
- It may be helpful to connect your family to professional support throughout the process. All of our providers here at Psychology Express provide individual and family therapy services to LGBTQIA+ youth and family members.
Part of affirming and supportive parenting for trans kids often involves having to advocate on their behalf. It may be helpful to learn about the history of the LGBTQIA+ movement and to connect to others who are currently advocating for trans children.
- To learn more about the history of the LGBTQIA+ movement, I recommended checking out the podcast Making Gay History. The episode on Jeanne and Morty Manford is a compelling tale of how a mother’s love led to the founding of PFLAG, a national organization that advocates for LGBTQIA+ individuals and their families.
- For an abbreviated history, check out this Ted Talk from Samy Nour Younes: A Short History of Trans People’s Long Fight for Equality.
- The Human Right’s Campaign has an advocacy resource including the Parents for Transgender Equality Council.
- The Trevor Project also has resources to help parents learn to advocate for their LGBTQIA+ children.
At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for your trans child’s mental health is to show up with love and support!
If you need additional support on your journey to becoming a supportive and affirming parent to a trans child know that there are helping professionals out there who can have your back throughout this process!
If you have any questions about the content of this article or find yourself in need of support for yourself or your trans child, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team by submitting a form.
Mattilan Martin l PsyD l Postdoctoral Fellow
Dr. Martin earned her PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Adler University in Chicago. She completed her pre-doctoral internship at Hazelden Betty Ford’s Center for Teens, Young adults, and Families where she worked with teens and young adults struggling with cooccurring mental health and substance use disorders. Dr. Martin has previously worked in a community mental center, a research hospital, and private practice specializing in neuropsychological work.
